I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
