i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
