Where is the hickey?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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