pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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