Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
