thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize