So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
