Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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