Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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