Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
