it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up under a house in Key West
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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