Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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