Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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