I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
