you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
