if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
