im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
