Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
