So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
