So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
