We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
