he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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