i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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