hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
send nudes
from the living room?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
