you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
