I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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