I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
