It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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