He is an equal opportunity slut.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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