Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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