god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize