And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
