if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
