Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
