I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
