Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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