I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
