i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
