My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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