just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
