Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
