just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
