O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
