You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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