we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
