weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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