I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
