You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
