You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
