the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
