omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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