I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
