How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
