Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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