white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
