Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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