i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
