Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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