this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
