dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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