But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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