is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
