i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize