i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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