Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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