No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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