omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
