I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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